Ludo / itsmeludo: A Plant is Growing Inside Me

This story begins in a very simple way. When I was seven years old I started to grow a passion for eating fruit seeds. The fact that I could die suffocating (at least so I believed) if it blocked my trachea made the entire challenge more and more thrilling as it was some kind of game between life and death. One day I was proceeding in such breathtaking action when suddenly my mother growled out of nowhere.

Ludo Bean 1 2015
Ludo Bean 2 2015
She told me that I must not eat the seeds and in order to ensure that I would respect such order she invented one of her oddly terrifying stories. (She did this a lot, you’ll hear more about that in the future)

Ludo Bean 3 2015
Ludo Bean 4 2015

She told me that if I ate a seed, a plant would start growing inside me, starting from the depths of my stomach (saying it started from my buttocks would have been quite disturbing) and finishing through my mouth (as seen in the drawing above [I am so good at drawing {and using brackets}]). This brought me to consider the fable: Jack and the beanstalk and of the plant which grew from the magic beans and obviously. being a kid, I applied it to the freakish story my mother had just told me.

Ludo Bean 5 2015
Ludo Bean 6 2015

The magic plant which would have grown from inside me, would have obviously reached the terrible giant living in the clouds above (As I am writing this, I realize how weird it sounds, so please bear with me and don’t run away). As in Jack and the beanstalk, the giant would have started climbing down the plant…

Ludo Bean 7 2015

And down into my mouth…

Ludo Bean 8 2015

Already at the time I was growing a striving passion for diets and healthy eating for I realized quite quickly that with a giant in my stomach, I would have become fat, I mean very fat. (Such a genius)

Ludo Bean 9 2015

Until I would have exploded like a time bomb (this is so incredibly realistic, its crazy)

Ludo Bean 10 2015

On the plus side, I began to use this “plant inside me” to hit on girls.

Ludo Bean 11 2015

“Wanna see ma plant” was my hit line, you gotta admit its quite innovative. However, it never worked mainly because the mother of dem girls hearing a 7 year old boy say this went crazy and intervened in fury, believing I was about to show off my tool.

Ludo Bean 12 2015

So yes, thank you mum for terrifying me but also thank you for the hit line, without those mothers I would have been a top player.

images and text © Ludo / itsmeludo 2015
blog: Banana Melodrama

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7 thoughts on “Ludo / itsmeludo: A Plant is Growing Inside Me

  1. From tiny acorn mighty oaks do grow. – there’s a pick-up line to get the mom’s apron strings in a knot. :D

    Great post.

  2. My mother told me that if I threw peas, beans or peanuts up into the air and caught them in my mouth, one would get into my lungs and I WOULD DIE. My grandmother, not to be outdone, said that things could take root in your lungs and grow there. (Did she also say that a man was walking along the street one day when a tendril emerged from his nose, or did I invented this detail?) Anyway, I was not as sanguine as you about such sproutings. For several years I feared that any seed or pip that I could not remember swallowing must be in rooted in my lungs and reaching for the light.

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